🌱 Becoming Who I Needed Series

Starting Over (Again): Learning to Find Motivation in the Messy Middle

Starting over isn’t glamorous. It’s rarely the kind of “new beginning” we see in movies, where everything suddenly falls into place. Sometimes it’s messy, uncertain, and uncomfortable. But it’s also honest. It’s real. And maybe that’s what growth actually looks like.

Lately, I’ve been in a season of redefinition — rebranding, reshaping, and remembering who I am beneath the noise. It’s exciting, but also humbling. I’ve had to go back to basics, and that’s taught me that beginning again doesn’t mean failure — it means courage.

So here I am, back on this journey of rediscovering myself — who I am within my career and beyond. But this time around, I’m showing up differently.
I’m a mom of two, a manager of an outpatient clinic, a private practice therapist, a PTO board member, and a woman striving for greatness — not just for my kids, but for myself. Because this isn’t just for them. It’s also for me, and for the people I help every day.

🧭 Normalizing “Starting Over”

We often hear the phrase, “I took two steps forward just to go three steps back.” Anytime there’s a sense that we aren’t progressing, we label it as negative. No one wants to feel stuck or like they’re falling behind. The same goes for starting over — it’s often seen as a setback.

But here’s the truth: starting over doesn’t erase the work you’ve done; it honors the parts of you that outgrew old patterns.
Sit with that for a moment.

Starting over is the beginning of your next phase in life — like a butterfly emerging from the cocoon, or a phoenix rising from the ashes. You are no longer the former version of yourself, but someone becoming who you need to be.

As a therapist, in our work with others, we often look back to understand the path forward. We take steps into the past not to dwell there, but to understand how you got here — and to use that awareness to propel growth. The more you understand, the more intentional your direction becomes.

Think of starting over as a form of realignment.
Imagine trying to hang a picture frame. You step back and realize it’s crooked. You might have to take the nail out, patch the wall, remeasure, and try again. It’s tedious, but necessary. That process of readjusting is how we create alignment — in our spaces, and in our lives.

We often expect to always be moving forward, but that’s not realistic. Progress doesn’t always mean more — sometimes it means pause.
Sometimes it looks like a deep breath, a reset, or returning to your foundation. Those moments of stillness are just as valid — and sometimes even more transformative.

🌊 Motivation Isn’t Linear

Motivation is one of those things that feels so good when it’s there — that spark, that drive, that let’s do this energy. It makes us feel alive, purposeful, unstoppable.
But what we don’t talk about enough is how motivation isn’t meant to last forever. It’s not a constant current; it ebbs and flows like the tide.

There are days when I wake up ready to take on the world — full of ideas, drive, and energy. And then there are days when showing up at all feels like the biggest win. For a long time, I used to judge myself for that inconsistency. I thought the “best” version of me was the one who was always on — always productive, always moving.

But as a therapist, it ,has taught me something important: motivation isn’t the measure of your worth or progress.
It’s a signal, not a standard.
It tells you where you are, what you need, and sometimes, that you simply need rest.

There’s beauty in that rhythm. Just like we can’t expect the ocean to stay at high tide, we can’t expect ourselves to operate at full capacity every single day. Some seasons call for action; others call for stillness. Both are part of growth.

Sometimes, starting over means giving yourself permission to feel unmotivated — and not shaming yourself for it. Because the truth is, even in those quiet, unmotivated moments, something is still happening. You’re processing. You’re rebuilding. You’re becoming.

So when that spark fades or feels distant, remember this: it’s not gone forever. It’s simply asking you to slow down and reconnect — to return to yourself and what truly fuels you.

🌿 Tapping Into What’s Already Within

When the noise quiets — when the excitement fades, and the motivation settles — what’s left is you. The real you. The one who’s been here all along, even when life felt uncertain or paused.

Starting over, I’ve learned, isn’t always about reinventing everything. Sometimes it’s about remembering.
Remembering your strength. Your resilience. Your voice. The small, steady truths that have carried you this far.

Therapy has taught me that we don’t always need to search outside ourselves for direction. Often, the wisdom we need is already there — we’ve just learned to tune it out while chasing the next goal, the next version of “better.”
Sometimes the next step forward is actually a step inward.

For me, this season of beginning again has meant returning to the basics — slowing down, setting boundaries, getting still enough to hear myself again. It’s meant giving myself permission to grow at my own pace, not the pace I think I should be moving.

And it’s also meant acknowledging that who I was before isn’t lost — she’s still part of me, layered into who I’m becoming. Every version of me has served a purpose, even the ones that struggled, doubted, or needed to start over.

Because becoming who I need isn’t about chasing a destination. It’s about honoring the process — the messy middle, the quiet rebuilding, the small wins that remind me I’m still here, still learning, still growing.

🌸 Closing Reflection: Becoming Who You Need

A gentle reflection on starting over, finding rhythm in the pause, and trusting that becoming is never linear.

Maybe this is your reminder that it’s okay to begin again — slowly, clumsily, and beautifully.
You haven’t gone backward. You’re just becoming who you needed all along.

If this resonates with you, take a moment today to honor your own beginning:

• 📓 Journal about what “starting over” means to you — what are you releasing, and what are you ready to rediscover?
  
  

• 💬 Talk with a friend, mentor, or therapist about where you are and what you need in this season.
  
  

• 💛 Or, if you’re ready, reach out for support — therapy, coaching, or simply opening up a conversation can help you reconnect to the strength already within you.
  
  

You don’t have to have it all figured out to start again. You just have to begin — right where you are.

This is the first post in my “Becoming Who I Needed” series — a space to reflect on growth, healing, and the quiet strength it takes to begin again.