🌱 Becoming Who I Needed Series Part 2
Letting Go of Old Versions of Myself
As I begin again, I realize that may mean letting go of parts of my old self—or the vision of who I thought I needed to be. I don’t want to take away from who I’ve become or what I’ve learned; these lessons are helping me grow. But some parts of me… some habits, beliefs, and old versions, have to be left behind.
It’s a strange feeling: wanting to honor your past, yet knowing that holding on too tightly can keep you from moving forward. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about what that means for me—and for anyone trying to grow without losing themselves in the process.
Why Letting Go is So Hard
“Why is letting go so hard? How can I move on?” I hear these questions all the time from my clients. And there are so many reasons why releasing old versions of ourselves can feel impossible.
For one, it feels safe to stick with the known. Even if the old habits, beliefs, or ways of thinking no longer serve us, they’re familiar. Trying something new can feel risky, unstable, or even scary. For some people, attachment keeps them tethered to parts of themselves they no longer want, yet can’t bear to leave. For others, it’s the fear of the unknown: not being able to see another path makes it easier to stay stuck.
I can relate. I’ve clung to old ways because they felt comfortable or defined who I was. I’ve hesitated to change, worried about losing pieces of myself that felt essential—even if they weren’t helping me grow anymore.
But as my hairstylist reminds me, sometimes we have to trim the dead ends in order for healthy hair to grow. The same is true for personal growth. I may resist change—the shorter hair, the new look, the pieces of me that feel known or safe—but if I want to create space for the new me, I have to let go.
I remember a time I realized I was holding onto a version of myself defined by other people’s expectations. It felt familiar, almost comforting, but it wasn’t authentic. Letting it go felt risky—like I might lose myself—but in reality, shedding it allowed my true self to emerge in ways I hadn’t imagined.
The Tension: Honoring the Past vs. Moving Forward
Letting go doesn’t mean erasing your history. The lessons, struggles, and even mistakes are part of your foundation—they help you grow. The key is understanding the difference between honoring your past and clinging to outdated versions of yourself.
Growth asks us to be brave enough to release what no longer serves us, while holding onto what nourishes us. It’s a delicate balance, but one that opens space for joy, creativity, and self-discovery.
What Letting Go Can Look Like
Letting go takes many forms, and it doesn’t always mean dramatic change.
Sometimes it’s small: saying “no” to things that drain you, letting go of negative self-talk, or releasing guilt and shame.
Sometimes it’s bigger: changing routines, leaving a job, ending a relationship, or stepping into a new role.
Often, it’s internal: shifting mindset, challenging beliefs, or letting go of identities that no longer fit.
Key point: Letting go is any action or decision that clears space for growth and aligns you with your authentic self. It’s not about losing yourself—it’s about creating room for the person you’re becoming.
How to Let Go: Practical Tips
Acknowledge what you’re holding onto. Name it. Write it down. Awareness is the first step.
Ask why you’re holding on. Fear? Comfort? Identity? Understanding the “why” makes it easier to release.
Visualize the release. Journaling, meditation, or even a symbolic gesture can help you imagine letting go.
Reframe it as growth, not loss. Letting go is not rejection—it’s evolution.
Growth is not linear. There will be moments when you feel you’ve moved forward, only to realize old patterns still creep in. That’s okay. Letting go is a process, not a one-time event. Every time you release a piece of yourself that no longer serves you, you create room for something new, something aligned with your authentic self.
Personally, letting go has meant uncomfortable conversations, shifting routines, and reevaluating relationships. But it’s also brought clarity, freedom, and a renewed sense of purpose. The more I release, the more I realize that my happiness is not tied to holding on—it’s tied to growing into the person I’m meant to become.
Journaling Prompt: Which parts of myself am I holding onto out of fear rather than growth? Consider writing a “goodbye letter” to one habit, belief, or mindset that no longer serves you—and reflect on what space it opens for the new you.
Letting go is the first step toward finding happiness from within. It’s about creating space for what truly matters, honoring your past, and embracing the possibility of a new, freer version of yourself. As I continue this journey, I’m learning that the parts of me I leave behind aren’t lost—they’re lessons carried forward. And with that space cleared, the next step is discovering the joy and contentment that comes from within.
