🌱 Becoming Who I Needed Series Part 3

Finding Happiness From Within

After letting go of old versions of myself, I thought the next part of the journey would feel light and freeing. And in some ways, it has. But no one tells you that once you release who you used to be, you’re left with something unfamiliar: Yourself!

Finding happiness from within isn’t just about joy or peace. It’s about relearning how to be with yourself again. And sometimes, that part feels uncomfortable.

Relearning How to Be Alone

It had been a while since I’d truly been alone — like, alone-alone. No kids. No partner. No work. No errands waiting for me the second I sat down.

I didn’t post last week like I planned to. I needed time — not to catch up on my tasks, but to catch up with myself. I’d been moving so fast that I didn’t realize I was running on empty, emotionally and mentally.

So last week, I paused…
I booked a solo spa day.

And instead of sinking into relaxation… I felt awkward.

Where do I go? What do I do? Why is this silence so loud? I realized I didn’t know how to just be with myself anymore.

What surprised me wasn’t the silence — it was realizing how unfamiliar I had become to myself.

It was like sitting with someone I used to know really well, but hadn't talked to in a long time.

What Happiness From Within Really Means

We often talk about happiness like it’s a feeling we have to chase — something outside of us that we have to find, earn, or create.

But happiness from within is different.

It’s quiet.
It’s steady.
It’s the comfort of your own presence.

It isn’t about perfection or constant joy.
It’s about being able to sit with yourself without needing to escape.

It’s a relationship — not an achievement.

How Letting Go Made Space for This

In Part 2, I talked about releasing old identities, beliefs, and roles that no longer fit who I was becoming.

Letting go created space.
But I hadn’t filled that space yet.

This is where relearning myself had to begin.

Letting go opened the door.
Being alone allowed me to walk through it.

Small Practices I’m Using to Reconnect With Myself

Nothing big or dramatic. Just gentle returns:

• Enjoying my coffee before I look at my phone
• Pausing to breathe instead of pushing through exhaustion
• Taking short walks without headphones, so I can hear my own thoughts
• Offering myself gentleness instead of critique
• Creating moments of stillness on purpose, not by accident

These are not productivity habits.
They are presence habits.

They teach me how to be with myself — and actually like being there.

The Shift

By the end of my spa day, something softened.

The silence didn’t feel loud anymore.
The stillness didn’t feel uncomfortable.
My presence didn’t feel unfamiliar.

I remembered that I enjoy myself.
I just hadn’t given myself the space to.

I thought I needed rest. But what I really needed was reunion.

Reflection Prompt

Ask yourself:

What small things today make me feel truly alive?
When was the last time I spent time with myself — not to recover, but to reconnect?

The answers don’t have to be profound.
They just have to be honest.

Next in the Series

Finding happiness from within is not a linear process. Some days it feels clear. Some days it doesn’t.

And that’s okay.

Because healing isn’t a straight line — and that’s exactly where we’re going next.

Part 4: Healing Isn’t a Straight Line
Coming soon...